Struggling

I'm having a really tough time keeping my motivation this week. I haven't been running very well and I haven't lost any weight, even though I've been exercising for almost five weeks now, and I've been trying to watch what I eat. People keep telling me it's because I'm building muscle, but it still doesn't make me feel any better.

I've also started to doubt whether I can actually make it to my goal, and I don't have anyone around me who really supports my decision. My mom and sister do, but they're a thousand miles away and I only talk to them once a week, if that. I don't have any friends here who have any faith in me.

My roommate just found out tonight that I wanted to join the Marines (even though I haven't been trying to hide it) and he was not nice. I know I'm overweight, and he's been fairly supportive about my running and trying to lose weight, but he was just a jerk about this. He started talking about how hard it was to get into the Marines and how hard boot camp is. I told him that I know and that it's not a decision I made overnight. He responded, "You may have read about it, but when have you ever done anything at all like boot camp?" I don't know what his problem is. He's always saying shit like that, trying to make me feel like I'm not good enough over certain things.

To be honest, I think his doubt just makes me want it that much more. I'm going to become a Marine Officer and prove him wrong. I'm going to do something I can be proud of, and everyone else can piss off if they don't like it. If need be, I'll find my own place. Hell, I'd probably end up saving money because I won't need the air on 76 all the time and I won't have cable.

I WILL DO THIS!!!