Yoink!

Haven't posted in awhile. Sorry about that. My ASVAB was rescheduled again. The Staff Sergeant's wife had her baby that day. I've been feeling very blah since last Tuesday. Wednesday I went to PT, but had to come home because I felt like I was going to be sick. I didn't feel much better Thursday. Friday, I went to PT, but the PFC didn't show up. Saturday and Sunday, I was on call for work. I did run Sunday.

I went to PT Monday and it wasn't too bad, but I still didn't feel the same motivation I felt the first week. I also almost passed out. We'd done arm stuff, since I can't do a flexed-arm hang, but I'm not sure if that had anything to do with it. I was getting ready to leave and we were discussing rank structure when everything went blurry and I felt extremely dizzy. I've felt like that once before when I was maybe 10: I had yawned in my friend Katie's living room, then the world went dark and blurry and I found myself sitting on the floor. This time, things didn't go dark, but I did have to sit down for a minute. I went to the restroom and almost puked (didn't though), then got a drink and I was ok. But it was weird and scary.

Wednesday, we did arm stuff, but didn't really push it. It might have been his last day, but I'm not sure. I'm not going tomorrow. He doesn't really want to be there, and honestly, neither do I. The first week, I felt like I got a lot out of it, but after that, I didn't. I learned some good ways to build arm strength, but I think most of it I can do on my own at home. I bought some 10-pound dumbells, so I'm good there. I'm burning so much gas going over there all the time, it's just not worth it. I also found out that my scale at home is really off. I got on the scale there and it said I was 166, when I thought I was 158. That was quite a downer. Instead of having 9 pounds to lose, I have 17. So I feel I'm wasting their time. I can't do a flexed-arm hang at all, can't do the minimum crunches, can't pass the run for the IST (I can pass the PFT run), and I'm 17 pounds overweight. I think I need to do it on my own and get my motivation back before I can expect them to put more into the relationship. Or maybe I'm just making an excuse to give up on PT for now. I don't know. I just feel defeated at this point.

ASVAB Rescheduled

Well, I didn't get to go to the ASVAB today. Got off work about 3 hours early, got to the recruiter's office, did the paperwork, but didn't get to go. There was too much else going on and we wouldn't have made it in time. So it's rescheduled for next week, assuming my boss will let me leave early again. I won't have to leave as early, and if I come in early, it'll only be a half hour difference. Hopefully they won't have too big a problem with it. They shouldn't. At least I show up, and on time, unlike one of the guys. I never ask for time off unless I'm going home (which I do once every six months), so they have no reason to be upset about me leaving early a couple times.

ASVAB

I'm scheduled to take the ASVAB next Tuesday. I'm surprised the Staff Sergeant wanted me to take it so soon, but he must see my dedication and motivation to be a Marine. I've been at PT every day and haven't done too bad. Each day this week, a new Poolee has shown up, but none of them have ever come back. And I've been able to outrun all of them. Not in a sprint, obviously, but I finish ahead of them and I don't give up as easily. I think the one on Monday was injured, so that probably doesn't count, but I definitely out-performed the other two. It baffles me that people who are signed up to be Marines already don't show the initiative to get themselves in shape. There's this golden opportunity to train with someone who has been through boot camp and MCT recently, and they're not taking it! I just don't get it.

PT

Today was my second day of morning PT with a buddy. Someone else actually joined us, too. He's a current Poolee, who had trouble with the run they did on Friday afternoon. There were some others who were supposed to show up, but never did. I will be honest, I didn't give it my all this morning. The Poolee was having some trouble with cramps, so it gave me an excuse to slack off, and I took it. I know I shouldn't have, but I did. I was really dreading PT this morning. I know I did well on Friday, but I hate feeling like I can't catch my breath. I did better on breathing today, but that was mostly because I wasn't running as hard. I still managed to get some nasty shin splints, though. I'm going to watch Stop-loss and ice them for awhile. Tomorrow I hope we work on the other aspects of the PFT and just do a short run. I don't know if it would be good for my shins to run all out again.

PT Buddy

Staff Sergeant Adamczyk found me a PT buddy! I met with him for the first time this morning. I will admit I was extremely nervous. After the Staff Sergeant told me it was someone who was leaving in a couple weeks, I assumed he would be heading off to boot camp and that he has been working hard to get in shape this entire time. I was afraid I would slow them down and they would get annoyed with me. Well, we all know what assuming does. A PFC who is in town (I saw him at Crispers last week) volunteered to help me out.

It was hard, but it was good. He was encouraging in that stern but kind way. We ran two miles and I thought I was going to keel over. We sprinted at the very end, and boy, did I want to puke (but I didn't). When it was all said and done, we had run two miles in 18 minutes. That's 6 minutes shorter than my normal 2-mile time. We also did push-ups, side-straddle hops, and mountain climbers. I suck at push-ups. I had to drop to my knees several times. He said we're going to work on those next time we meet. I think this will be very good. I realize I've definitely not been pushing myself as hard as I can, or as hard as I need to. There's also a good chance I will end up puking before he leaves in two weeks, but if that's what happens, so be it. I'm excited. Still nervous, but excited to see where I am by the time he has to go.

Frustration

Wednesday is my morning to weigh in and I haven't lost a thing. I've been at 160 for the last four weeks. I was expecting to see something positive this morning, but the scale still says the same thing as last week. I've been eating 1000 calories most days since Thursday, though I did eat 1119 yesterday. I was bad and had that 1/3 donut at work. I've also run every morning except Saturday and Tuesday. I burned about 400 calories on the days I ran. That should equate to at least half a pound or something! I'll stick with it and hopefully talk to the recruiter soon. If not, I'm going to see if my doctor has any ideas. It's just 10 pounds. 10 pounds keeping me from reaching my dream. 10 pounds that just won't go away!! I'm so frustrated!

On a positive note, I managed to do two miles in 22.5 minutes this morning. Tomorrow I'm going to keep that pace and go a bit further.

Car Trouble

My car started just fine yesterday morning when I went to the park to run, but when I got in it for work, it wouldn't turn over. My boss is pretty handy when it comes to vehicles, so he came and took a look. After replacing the battery, it still wouldn't start. So I had to take it to a shop today and dropped $300 on a new starter. Luckily, my boss needs a battery, so he's taking the new one rather than making me keep it.

I've been doing pretty good on staying in my calorie range. Surprisingly, I'm not hungry all the time like I thought I'd be. Now that I don't have so much wiggle room, I'm making everything count, most of the time. I did have 1/3 of a donut today after taking my car in. I shouldn't have, but I did. I'll still manage to stay under the 1000 calories, but I might be a bit hungrier in the morning.

I didn't get my run in this morning either. Not much I could do about that, though. I couldn't drive to the park, and there's no way I'm running around here. It's a bit scary to do stuff like that. I'm going to push myself extra hard tomorrow morning. My goal is to do 2 miles in 24 minutes (I've been doing 2 in 25). I want to do 3 in 36 by the end of the month. There's no reason I shouldn't be able to. I did it once before.

I got ASVAB for Dummies today. I want to do well on the entire thing, so I have a better chance of getting what I want. At this point, I haven't decided what I want, so if I study for everything, I should be good to go!

Running

I've been pushing myself harder during my runs since I spoke with the recruiter. Ok, so I've only had two runs since then, but still, that's not bad. I've started wearing my HRM and tracking my intensity based on that. I try to keep my heart rate up between 165 and 170. If I get to the point where I'm struggling to breathe, I walk for a minute or two until my heart rate drops back to 155, then pick up running again. It seems to be working pretty well. I did 2.5 miles in less than 30 minutes today (my typical 3 miles is 38 minutes), even with the walking. I think if I keep this up, I'll be able to pass the PFT with no problem. I just need to stick with it and push myself a bit harder than I want to.

This is the first time since I've started my journey that I've had someone expecting me to do well (well, someone who can physically see me and judge my progress on their own). If I don't push myself and show that I have what it takes, they won't put their own reputations on the line to help me become a Marine. It's scary, but it's also nice. Becoming a Marine isn't just an idea anymore, it's becoming reality. I finally have a tangible goal and can see how my efforts so far have helped achieve that goal.

Recruiter Update

Despite shaking like crazy and wanting to puke, I went in and talked to a recruiter tonight. I think it went pretty well. He gave me a lot of information on how to lose the last 10ish pounds I need to lose. I've been going about it all wrong. I've been eating about 1600 calories a day, when I need to eat about 1000. I eat way too many carbs (only need 3 servings a day. Did you know that baby carrots are full of carbs?), and too many fruits (need 1-2, so much for my apple obsession). I need to be running to the point of wanting to die for 30-45 minutes a day. Staff Sergeant Adamczyk offered to help me some mornings, too, which is great. He said I should call him on Friday mornings, but I'm not sure if he meant I should start tomorrow... I probably should. Show some initiative and whatnot.

There is also the chance that my hypothyroidism will keep me out of the military completely. That's a bit worrisome, as I don't have a backup plan. But I'm not making a backup plan yet, because I know I can manage without the meds. I need(ed) them to keep my weight down, but now that I know how to eat better and control my weight, they may become obsolete. I'll lose the weight and see what the recruiter finds out about the condition. No sense in stressing now.

On the positive side, I took the practice ASVAB and got an 89 (for those who don't know, max is 99). The person before me had gotten a 17, so that was a pleasant surprise. And I rushed and guessed on a couple of the math questions because I thought I was running out of time (I ended that section with 3 minutes left), so if I had taken my time, I may have done better. But 89 is nothing to spit at.

One other thing to note: I met the recruiter who I had initially spoken with on the phone way back when. She's actually very nice and I owe her an apology for the bad attitude I had toward her. I'm sure she sees overweight people come in all the time who never follow through. I'm not going to be one of those people.

I'm still a bit nervous about the whole situation, but I think it's going to turn out well. Staff Sergeant Adamczyk's wife was there, as well, and she was very nice. She offered to lend me her Weight Watchers books and gave me lots of helpful advice. And once she has her baby, she and Sergeant Kindig will be doing a "girls only" PT session. Hopefully I'll be able to join that one. Yes, I definitely think this is going to turn out well. I can't wait to be a Marine.

Recruiter

I called the RSS yesterday to see if they would be open on Friday. They won't be, but he told me to come in tonight after work. So I'm going in. There are a couple things I'm hoping to accomplish there. First, I hope they have some tips on how to get out of this slump. I'm exercising almost as much as before now, but I'm still not losing any weight. Second, I would like to get a jump start on paperwork and gathering all the information I need so I'm ready when the time comes. I'm not sure if that's allowed, but at the very least, they can tell me what I need to start collecting/requesting. And third, I'm going to have them weigh me, so I know how accurate my scale is. I'm quite nervous to go in, but I need to do it. Maybe it will be just the motivation I need to kick it to another gear.